Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Talk about luck.

And so my Round Ubin Kayaking Marathon last Sunday was a big flop, when all it took was a snap in between my shoulder blade to end it all. I sprained my neck halfway through the marathon, somewhere near Outward Bound School. I thought initially that it was just a slight crack you usually get from stiff bones, but found out in a matter of minutes that it was more than just a crack. The pain kinda spread throughout my shoulder blade and I couldn't continue rowing at all.

What's sad is that my partner, Don and I were having quite a nice pace and good position amongst the rest, and were planning to slowly pin down one boats at a time, when this kinda shit crap happened. I really let down the team, and more importantly my partner. We had to go back via a powerboat, with our Kayak towing behind. Although Don was very understanding, I couldn't forgive myself. I knew from the previous trainings that we were the school's only T2 or Doubles hope, with the other Doubles pair missing close to 80% of the training sessions. Moreover, we showed extreme potential during training sessions all the time, and it was pretty much obvious to many that Don and I were the upcoming stars.

What's also sad is that I trained every single fucking day prior to the marathon, and missed one training sessions with the school due to some bottom cramps. On non-training days I would swim or gym with Yak to keep myself going. All for the Marathon. And like I said, it went down the drain with a fucking pathetic snap. And now I'm cooped up at home, unable to accomplish even simple chores like lying down on bed properly.

My tears have dried, and what's more devastating was that I actually had to forsake my 4d/3n Expedition the following day, which I was really looking forward to. I know for a fact there won't be another one held just for me. And every now and then I look out of my window to see East Coast Beach, trying to picture how much fun the rest are having. My weekend has formally screwed up, and I don't know why I deserve such a fate. I'm resentful, and very sore about everything. I hate to see my ziplog bags I've prepared for the Expedition. Like I don't even know what I'm supposed to do with them already.

In the Ambulance, all I could think about was Sonia and my back, praying hard it wasn't as serious as it seemed to be. Because the people in charge told me I might have a muscle rupture or some shit like that. I didn't know what to expect, just hoped that I would have a fast recovery span. Because what I fear most is a reoccurance of what always happens to me whenever I peak in a particular sport. Like previously at the peak of my badminton career, I had a sprained ankle and a swollen tendon on my right shoulder. And now this. I'm really afraid I can't continue with canoeing, because I unknowingly found myself being passionate about the sport and everything else that tags along with it. Right now it feels quite terrible, and I can only pray for a speedy and complete recovery so I can continue doing something I like doing, not stopping what I like doing at the peak of my canoeing career. They say the greatest blow you can give an athelete is handicapping his ability to continue with his sport. I couldn't agree more.

But thankfully, it was very comforting to know that I have a caring girlfriend who drops over my house everyday to look after me, giving me massages on my back though she knows it will hurt her fingers alot, and even dropping over despite her having cramps. I must say this period has brought the two of us closer than ever, it's a kind of bonding that doesn't happen every other day. I must have scared her quite abit, because not knowing what has happened to you can be quite a scary experience. I'm feeling alot better emotionally now, because at least I know I have someone who truly loves me standing behind me, always ready to be there for me. And I'm truly thankful and appreciative of that fact. As for now, I think I'm 60% more to go before I fully recover. Hopefully within the next 5 days my injury gets well fast enough.

But before I say anything, I'd like to say:

Thanks baby, for everything.
I LOVE YOU!

And last but surely not the least, CHANGI HOSPITAL SUCKS.

posted@9:31 AM

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